What Can Leaders Learn from a Jewish Comedian Who Attended a Meeting of White Supremacists?
- Lori Zukin
- May 5
- 5 min read
Five Funny and Serious Leadership Lessons
Dear Friends,
Lately, I’ve added comedy to my daily routine. It’s a good reprieve from the news—helping me to gain a new perspective on the world rather than all-out avoiding it.
I’ve laughed a lot and have learned that comedians have a lot to offer those of us in the leadership field.
My new favorite comedian is Alex Edelman. He’s a Jewish guy who gets “accidentally invited” to a meeting of white supremacists and then creates a comedy show (“Just for Us”) about it. The perspectives that he shares in this show, in follow-up interviews, and in his work in general, provide several important lessons for leadership and life.
Lesson 1: Stay Curious and Listen Well
In “Just for Us”, Edelman describes scrolling on his phone one night and seeing the following tweet: “if you live in NYC and you have questions about your whiteness come to 441 27th Avenue tomorrow night at 9:15.”
He shares with the audience, “I saw the tweet. And I thought to myself, I live in NYC. And as an Ashkenazi Jew, I have some questions about my whiteness. And I’m free tomorrow night at 9:15.”
He went to that meeting not to confront “his enemy,” but to understand. He didn’t go in with answers. He went in with questions. He truly wanted to listen.
Edelman’s deep desire to understand others—even those who disagree with or threaten his worldview—is what allowed him to enter a place that he would otherwise be (at the very least) uninvited. His objective was not to convert or to judge. In this case, he wanted to learn, “Why are there people who hate me who haven’t met me?”(1)
That same curiosity also led him to a Louis Farrakhan rally and, when he had time between jobs, a conference on Nuclear Iran.
“Curiosity has been my defining characteristic,” he says.(2)
Lesson 2: Understand and Appreciate Multiple, Competing Perspectives
The second lesson from Edelman is one that many of my coaching clients have struggled with: To truly understand a complex issue, we need to recognize conflicting points of view. This requires seeing perfection in imperfection.
“I like to hear everyone’s point of view and hold opinions strongly, but loosely at the same time,” he says. “I like trying to square impossible, contradictory things and see if they can coexist at the same time... That really works for me.”(3)
Edelman wrestles with these contradictions—and challenges us to do the same—not just through attending the meeting, but also through the side stories he tells.
In one of these stories, he tells of a time when his mother decorated their house for Christmas, a tradition frowned upon by Orthodox Jews. She did this with positive motives—expressing empathy for her Christian friend, who was in pain—but their rabbi saw it as unacceptable. My immediate reaction was to be upset with the rabbi, until Edelman pointed out that there was a period when Jews used to get killed on Christian holidays.
In an interview with Simon Sinek, Edelman describes his modern Orthodox Jewish upbringing as “the idea that you are in constant pursuit of perfection with the complete and full understanding that you will never get there, and… you constantly wrestle with these two things.”
I’m inspired by Edelman’s ability to reframe contradictions and integrate seemingly irreconcilable views. He doesn’t make light of serious issues. Instead, he creates a space to explore them—and yes, make us laugh.
Lesson 3: Maintain Both Empathy and Boundaries
In an interview last spring, Mark Maron talked with Edelman(4) about how far empathy goes. “Can you have empathy for your enemy?” Edelman asked.
Edelman wanted to have empathy for white supremacists at that meeting and understand how they came to hold their perspectives. How, just as he can feel like an outsider as a Jew, might they feel like outsiders in some way? Might they, like he (and like all humans) be wishing for connection?
Edelman makes it clear that he does not agree with them. He has boundaries. Violence is not okay. Hatred of others because of background and identity is not okay. Edelman does not condone their ideology. But he does want to understand their experience.
Lesson 4: Do What Lights You Up
Alex Edelman does what he loves to do. When a series that he had been working on ended, he found himself with some down time. Rather than get a “real job with benefits” like his mom wished, he found things that “lit him up,” like going to that conference on Nuclear Iran. As it happened, this approach led to that meeting and to his award-winning show, which he’s said is “the truest expression of himself.” Perhaps comedians—like leaders—are at their best when they express their true selves. Perhaps that is why “Just for Us” has won so many awards.
Similarly, when his tour got cancelled in March of 2020 because of Covid, Edelman did what he (and so many others) loved: He and his best friend and singer Benj Pasek brought top talent, including artists like Jason Alexander, Bette Midler, Dan Levy, and many others, to create a zoom Passover Seder. It was as serious as Covid and funny as “we’re trapped in our apartments and the plagues are very real,” as sung by Jason Alexander (Jewish) and Josh Groban (not Jewish)—in a play on the song “Dayenu,” which is regularly sung at Seders. It raised $3.6M for Covid relief and reached Jews and non-Jews alike. Reflecting on the event, Edelman talked about how special it was to witness what can happen when talented people put their egos aside and perform at their best.(5)
The Fifth Lesson: Allow People to Come to their Own Conclusions
Maybe the strongest leadership move that Alex Edelman makes is that he doesn’t push or pressure us, his audience, to take a certain worldview. He has us consider how we interact with each other and, through those interactions, what potential there might be for change.
In the end, his show is not really about a Jew who goes to a meeting of white supremacists. It’s about “how there are people who hate me who’ve never met me.”
His consideration is as serious as death, funny as hell, and nuanced as ever.
Edelman invites us to get “on the balcony,” where we can look at multiple perspectives, see ourselves and others in a new light, and act from that more informed place.
Will we accept that invitation and challenge ourselves as Edelman does?
I’m not suggesting that we take the type of risk that Edelman took at the white supremacist meeting. But I do wonder, what if we, as leaders, were more curious? Better at holding competing perspectives simultaneously? Better at both being empathetic and holding people accountable? And, more courageous to do what lights us up?
Which of these lessons resonates most with you? And, importantly, how are you bringing laughter into your life now? I’d love to hear your thoughts.
To leadership and laughter!
Lori
1,5. Sinek, S. (2023). Imperfections, Nuance, and Humanity with comedian Alex Edelman. Episode 108: A Bit of Optimism [Podcast]. December 23. Available at: https://simonsinek.com/podcast/episodes/imperfections-nuance-and-humanity-with-comedian-alex-edelman/
Gilbey, R. (2018). “Comedian Alex Edelman on meeting his antisemitic trolls: 'Curiosity is my defining characteristic'.” The Guardian, 13 August. Available at: https://www.theguardian.com/stage/2018/aug/13/comedian-alex-edelman-on-meeting-his-antisemitic-trolls-curiosity-is-my-defining-characteristic
3,4. Maron, M. (2024). Alex Edelman. Episode 1529: WTF with Marc Maron [Podcast]. April 11. Available at: https://shows.acast.com/wtf-with-marc-maron-podcast/episodes/episode-1529-alex-edelman
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